Story of the day (My feelings as of recent actually) 

The feelings I can never say to anyone else without the fear of being judged…and you’re the only one I will open up to about how I truly feel inside and cry on your shoulder…

I’ve been feeling pretty down lately  because of stress and all the new unfamiliar faces of smart people around me, and with parents who complicate matters by pushing me to be impossibly as good as those ultra smart and hardworking people (when I never was even half as good as they were)…

I didn’t know how I should approach anyone to tell them how uncertain and afraid I am inside…it kills me every minute to just bottle everything inside…When I approach my parents, I get bitten at anyway. When I approach my schoolmates, I fear they would gossip and tell everyone else and judge me for being some kind of coward who’s afraid of facing reality…

I mean. Junior College life hasn’t even began for me (probably in 3 days actually) and I’m already nervous and jittery inside. Outside I seem so calm and okay but the truth is I just need someone to be here for me.

And that’s when I was with you. 

On the bus home. Sitting in the back of the second deck. I just couldn’t bear it anymore. I just got sensitive at the moment and broke down in tears…

You were there to hug me and wipe away my tears…Stroked my hair and tried to calm me down as I wept on your shoulder, feeling so afraid inside…

I felt glad you were there, rather than to be all alone in such moments of time…

Gently kissing my forehead, you reassured me that you would never ever leave me and always be here by my side…as I openly spoke of my sorrows without holding back my feelings.I guess there really isn’t anyone except you whom I can actually wholeheartedly place my trust in and openly express my emotions…
I’ll never let go of your hand. 

Thank you for being such a caring boyfriend. I love you. 
-Hyun Jae 



Sometimes I look back and think to myself…

Just what have you done to deserve this from me?

And then I find myself asking myself this, 

Does he really deserve someone like you? 

After all the mean things I said, after all those mindless insults…men, like women too, have feelings of their own…but people always expect them to “man up!” and not shed tears.

But men are human too. And all of us have feelings, men and women alike.

I’m sorry I neglected yours. It still pains me inside at the thought of how sad I caused you to be…
-Hyun Jae 

Fear and insecurities 

I’ve always been conscious of my own looks at times…

Feeling I’ve never been pretty or attractive enough,

that I need to hide my face in public and not be seen,

feeling like a disgraceful eyesore that people ain’t keen,

to befriend because I’m weird, different and not like any normal teen.

I wish I had a mask to cover my face, 

so I couldn’t let anyone see

how hideous I’d be.

I’ve no confidence nor self-esteem,

an anti-social introvert with no initiative…

What can I say? 

I’m just plain old me, 

and even if I want to change, 

I’ll just be as ugly. 

When you’re gone…

Sometimes before sleeping,

I just lie in bed and clear my mind,

free of worries and troubles.

I stare blankly into the sky, 
imagining what the future would be like.

I imagine us cuddling on a cold, rainy night, 

I imagine us walking hand-in-hand down the neon-lit streets of the City, 

and I imagine us embracing each other’s pain and flaws.

I look up at the grand tapestry of black before me,

the vast expanse of darkness illuminated by the sea of a million stars

and I wish you were right beside me

and set me free

from my insecurity

when you’re not with me.

 -Hyun Jae 
All artwork taken from Google Images

Story of the day – The flower bud

A small flower bud once said to the flower who bloomed, “When will I ever bloom like you? I’m an ugly bud that serves no purpose – my master does not like me as much as he likes you.”

And the flower replied, “My child, you will bloom someday, when the time is right.”

The next day, the bud still had yet to bloom. Disappointed, the bud asked once more, “Flower, when will I bloom like you?” 

The flower gave the same reply, “My child, you will bloom someday, when the time is right.”

The disappointed flower bud remained shut.

A week later, the flower that had bloomed was starting to wilt. Its petals were crumbling off, one by one, and it had lost its beauty. The flower bud witnessed this, and looked at itself – it was beginning to swell, but still, it did not bloom.

Two days later, the flower had wilt and fallen from the tree. However, the flower bud, who had patiently waited for so long, was now in full blossom, its petals gleaming yellowish-gold under the sunlight. 

Patience is a virtue.

We all have our own talents, and it is just a matter of time to nurture it and let our radiance shine one day just like the flower. 

So be patient, for one day you will succeed and let your radiance shine. 


Hi guys 🙂

My exams are ending in 10 days (hurray) and after that I’ll be starting on a new series (which I have no thought of a name yet) that will be replacing Darker Evil so I hope you guys stay tuned if you want to get updates of my newest story which I’ll be releasing soon (probably challenging myself to complete a chapter every 2 or 3 days I hope).

Until the next time we meet, adios~

-Hyun Jae

Eyes – The reflection of Your soul

They say that the eyes are the windows, to your inner soul ; your thoughts, feelings, and emotions…

The key that unlocks the doorway to your heart.

But not everyone’s door is so easy to push open…Not everyone’s door has a single padlock.

Sometimes opening up to people can be hard, especially when you don’t know them very well, and when you’re trying to make new friends.

Sometimes you feel that they cannot understand your plight and situation no matter how much they try to empathise – they will just never be able to share your sentiments, thoughts, or feelings.

Be it saddness, bitterness or hate ; emptiness, sorrow or woe…

Be it family problems, emotional turmoil, or grief that drives you to the point of exhaustion…be it heartaches and headaches that are driving you insane…you’ll never let anyone understand that pain.

Because you’d rather keep it all to yourself, bottle it up inside, than let it gush out freely and spare yourself from suicide.

It takes ever so long, once in a lifetime, (or maybe not at all) to ever find that one person that can actually understand you and help you go through it all.

But when you’ve finally found that person, only he (or she) is truly the key that fits the padlock of your heart.

Unlocking your inner emotions, and seeing the true reflection behind those esurient eyes that glitter in the sunlight.

-Hyun Jae

Artwork taken from Pinterest

You can be King again : Lauren Aquilina

You’ve got it all, you lost your mind in the sound. There’s so much more, you can reclaim your crown. You’re in control, rid all the monsters inside your head…put all your faults to bed…you can be king again.

Believe in yourself. No matter what the difficulties are that you face in life, never give up in the face of adversity.

You’re the master. You’re in control.
(P.S. Sorry for not posting in months)
Deviantart belongs to @lazziecat

-Hyun Jae


The journey of us

Warmth in our hands, radiance in our hearts.

Neither of us came from the most perfect of families.
Neither of us had it good.
Neither of us had perfect backgrounds and histories.
Neither of us knew we’d end up together someday.
It all began when I used to sing,
songs you loved listening,
we met once, exchanged glances,
and never knew,
there were more chances,
for us to meet
and for friendships to grow.

2 years later, mistakes are made.
But we’re all humans, this is merely a mistake.
Flawed as you may be, so am I.
No one is born perfect,
unless you’re a programmed AI.
We all make mistakes,
from time to time.

Together we grew,
and started anew.

Your once broken, shattered state,
now repaired, and reshaped,
morphed into kindness, warmth and love,
dispelled away all traces of hate.
The ice now broken,
warmth released.
That old you
now ceased to exist.

Now its us and we,
we’re together,
not “you” and “I”.
We learn together,
brave challenges together,
and grow stronger together.

People may wag tongues,
criticize or hate.
But stay strong,
and have faith.
Support and encourage,
give and take.

It’ll never be smooth sailing,
there’s always ups and downs.
Life isn’t a bed of roses,
nor a glorious crown.

Nevertheless in bad times,
I’ll be here to share your burdens.
We’ll walk through bitterness,
hand in hand,
and I’ll be your pillar of support
to help you stand.

Here’s to the journey of us…may this be start, and may there be no end.